Hi everyone! My friend Susan is here with an apple sauce recipe and lots of wit thrown in for good measure.

My mom is one of those cooks who makes everything from scratch not because she is particularly interested in food politics, but because it never really occurred to her not to do so. As a result, I am an insufferable applesauce snob. Yes, applesauce! It’s one of her favorite things to make, probably because you can cut up something, put it in a pot, and forget about it for an hour so you can focus on your four small kids and allow your house to smell more and more awesome. I don’t have kids, but I do have a husband who is not above pouting when I don’t save enough applesauce for him.

I can’t help it, my hand just keeps automatically shoveling it into my mouth.

Real applesauce is never golden. You’ve seen baked apples before, they’re brown, so why would applesauce end up being yellow?

Real applesauce is made with the skins on. It’s more flavorful and more nutritious (plus easier).

Real applesauce doesn’t contain added sugar. Well, that’s not true. Lots of recipes call for it, but to my taste, it masks the autumny taste of whatever kind of apple you choose to use. I mix and match, usually, and of course, if you can get them from an orchard or a farmer’s market, the flavors will pop that much more. (Here’s a chart to guide you through the seemingly endless apple varieties).

My dad loves my mom’s applesauce, my dude loves mine, and everyone will love yours, I promise.

Ingredients:
12 tart or sweet apples, unpeeled (scrubbed if waxed), cored, chopped
1 cup water
pinch salt

Optional:
Couple of anise stars
Cinnamon stick
Cloves
A little lemon juice

Directions:
Put everything in a heavy pot, set over medium-high heat, cover.

Cook for 15-20 minutes, until the apples break down, whacking them around the pot with a wooden spoon once in awhile.

Invite someone over for a made-up reason, just so they can exclaim at how wonderful your house smells.

Blush modestly.

Remove any cloves, cinnamon sticks, or anise stars that you used.

Turn cooked apples into sauce. You can do this in a variety of ways, the easiest being to push them through a food mill. If you don’t have one, roughly blend with an immersion blender, pulse in a food processor, mash with a potato masher, or whatever else you’d like to use. The advantage of a food mill is that it’ll get out all of the now-orphaned skins, in a blender or food processor, they get incorporated. No big deal. Just be careful not to really puree it all into a liquid.

Refrigerate or eat warm.